Thursday, June 23, 2011

Spirit Animals

my spirit animal, for almost all of my life has been a luna moth.  i have memories as a little girl of the moths flying around under the moon, beating their bodies against light, always yearning and howling, spinning through the world with chilling beauty, and i'd wake up the next morning to find wings all over the lawn, ghosts of the faerie spells i'd witnessed just the night before.  i used to collect them in a little drawer.  some of their magick would rub off on your fingers, gold and green.
recently, my dreams have been so clear.  i can almost still touch them when i wake up in the morning.  i've never been like that.  i always wake up empty, filled with darkness, clinging to the shade of the ghost of the feeling of the memory of a dream i had.  it feels so distant.  that feeling will creep into my day, but i can never place what it is.  i think i'm coming into a new spiritual awakening.  i can't sleep, but when i do, the taste and smell are still in my mouth when i open my eyes.
i had a shroom trip a month ago.  every time i closed my eyes i saw kaleidoscopic narwhals and diamonds, spinning in rainbows.  so dangerous and beautiful!  as the trip deepened, the bed became my ocean.  i rolled around in lumpy space princess, covered my face with hair, and made unicorn noises under the pillow.  water.  i need water.  i always need water.  i make people thirsty when i hang out with them.  i'm a pisces.  i basically breathe it.  i'm always thirsty.  always thirsty.  i need water.  using my otherworldy sonar powers, i drew my boyfriend into the room and begged him for a drink.  he brought me a nalgene, kissed my head, closed the door.  huge gulp!  and then i stared at it for a while.  splash splash splash!  i threw it all over the bed and myself, giggling and sparkling and then i dove into the sea.  i became a narwhal somewhere under the sheets.  i felt the spirit of the mystic sea unicorn in my bones.  i will always find comfort and guidance in the luna moths of my childhood, but i'm a narwhal now.  sometimes the queen seahorse visits me, but almost always i'm a lonely shaman narwhal on a quest through glittering diamond seas.

well that's a weird spirit animal...  not like a fox, owl, deer, or wolf.  curious to see what people would come up with, i asked everyone what they thought my spirit animal was.  number one result was narwhal, followed by seahorse.  that's so bizarre... is it noticeable? does it shine off of me?  i hope it does.  the bewitching narwhal is still swimming and spinning in my bones.  i often have dreams where i'm a pudgy little narwhal, floating in a swimming pool full of purple crystals.